30 days submission - Day 19

How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

I’m not really able to talk about the D/s aspect of my relationship as its not something most people in my life either know about or would be able to feel comfortable about discussing.

I am quite open – obviously – so I am willing. My bestie likes to as questions about things which I appreciate as she is trying to take an interest but she is often very negative with her initial thoughts so it’s a lot of work trying to explain why him slapping me for being disobedient or pinning me to the wall by my throat isn’t actually a huge red flag. I think the underlying issue with her is because I have been in a physically abusive relationship before and didn’t tell anyone she worries that I won’t tell anyone again. She and my close family are also under the impression from how my last partner used to treat me that that was also an abusive relationship – something I argue it wasn’t – so she thinks I can’t tell the difference. I can and while I appreciate that she cares it does get a little irritating that she had these thoughts about him. Now she has met him however she doesn’t seem to have the same worries, and most of the questions she asks is more along the lines of why do I like something rather that what’s wrong with a guy that likes that.

I found twitter to be a massive help with being able to discuss BDSM. I have made some lovely friends and there are so many like minded people that I could openly start a discussion about pretty much anything and I will get a whole spectrum of opinions. I have also joined isolated groups via DM’s so I can chat with my other “sub sisters” if I need to vent about something or I need advice. Its nice having people who are as open as me to talk to and to teach me things that I might not have known. I did for a while talk on places like fetlife and the cage but for every one nice person I spoke to was so many creepy ass-holes who clearly either can’t read where I have all over my profile that I am taken and not interested in anyone else or simply don’t care. I got tired having to defend the fact that I’m not collared meaning I’m still “fair game” – not true! So instead I stick to twitter plus I have some fantastic conversations on there too.

As to the events, that’s actually something I spoke about with Daddy the other night and it is something I would like to go to, but only if he came with me and only if there was a guarantee that I was off limits. I have heard of gatherings that have actually been orgies and I’m really not into that. I belong to him only plus if I was to see another woman touch him, I would have to kill her so its just not worth catching a charge for a night out.

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