30 days submission - Day 18

Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?

I feel like that’s two different points there. Communication and opinion are two separate things and are different within my submission.

Of course, I am allowed an opinion. It’s an automatic response and like the saying goes, "opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one". That doesn’t mean to say that I will always voice my opinion however. For the most part I can and will have a say on things with Daddy. We are not only in a D/s relationship but we are also together as a couple and although I am submissive to him, I am also used to being independent and that’s a hard cycle to break. I don’t think Daddy would want me to become a mindless idiot anyway. Ones of the things about me that seems to interest him is how weird my brain works which does in turn give me rather random options. I don't see him wanting that to change.

Communication in terms of when I am being submissive is a little bit trickier to navigate.

Just now he has doing this whole thing where I have to exercise patience. In my opinion he’s fighting an uphill battle here as I’m patient with everything except him. When it comes to Daddy, I have no patience. I want everything about him and I want it right now. I imagine it’s similar to a hungry animal. Put a toy in front of then and order to stay, they probably will. Put food in front of them and command to stay and you can almost see them trying to weight up the argument – should I get what I really want or should I do as I’m told – with Daddy, I really struggle with that. I want him! 
When he starts to go on about my needing to exercise patience then there is really no point in trying to communicate any desire to him. It will fall on deaf ears and I’ll just get myself all frustrated. I guess to a certain extent the “training" is working then cause I just internally sulk – often having to hide my face as he can read me like a book and if I sulk too much is gets construed as being bratty and that doesn’t tend to end well for me.

If he’s in his mean daddy mode then again, communication is limited. At that point there is no wiggle room and I have to be a good girl as he won’t hold back on punishments. That is the part that can bother my bestie when we discuss it, as to her that seems like I’m being “bullied" but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Mean daddy is fun 98% of the time and that’s when I know that it’s gonna get rough, it’s gonna get intense and I’m gonna end up in a messy puddle of sweat and cum. Just how I like it! Even the not nice side is usually my fault – I’ll be a brat and he’ll bring out the horrible punishments like stress positions and orgasm denial. Fucking hate them! But like he says you gotta take the good with the bad and there is ALWAYS way more of the good!

When he’s in a playful mood he is more open to suggestion. I do have to be polite with any requests I make, usually starting out with asking if I can make a request in the first place. Just cause I’m asking doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Ultimately, he is in charge, he is the boss and I will do as he says - either right away or I’ll kick against it and make it harder for myself, but still end up doing it anyway. I am aware how absolutely stupid I am at times when I push back but like I said that’s a learned behaviour that I am trying to break. 

I can request just about anything with Daddy as there is absolutely no judgement from him. Obviously, he will have limits to what I can do as I have a habit of trying to run before I can walk. I was a little aggressive with some anal play and I hurt myself so just how I am having to ask permission before I can even contemplate butt stuff. I know he’s right as there are times I will be hyper horny and I take it further that I really am ready for so, as frustrating as it can be if he won’t let me play with a bigger toy, I know he’s doing it for my benefit and when I am in that almost manic mindset, it is handy having that barrier – though I really do miss DP at times. Also being a nympho, I sometimes struggle with impulse control with him. Like I said, zero patience. So if I was to ask him to tie me to the bed, blind folded and gagged as he fucking the life out of me – I right away that’s going to get rejected as that’s a lot of sensory play as well as rough play and it is a lot more than I have experienced in one go. It’s not like he would just restrain and pound away anyway – Daddy really likes to play with his “fuck toy” so I would be close to passing out with exhaustion before his cock has come anywhere near me. Being restrained, gagged and blindfolded at the same time as that would be sensory overload so it will be an automatic no just now. But I can ask if we can get the toy box out or if I can be blindfolded and he will usually agree if he is in a playful mood.

In reality though I don’t usually ever have to make my desires known. He ticks pretty much every box every time so there is no need to ask for something special. He is the Dominant force for a reason. He is in charge and takes control for me to follow his lead. I love that and I will gladly stay in that position, or any other he wants me cause at the end of the day that’s my role as his sub. And for my submission I’m rewarded the best sex of my life!

Actual factual!

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