Am currently sat in Costa, feeling very tender and forcing myself not to start bubbling.

I'm so grateful and happy that Daddy could stay over but then he always has to leave and I feel so sad and like I'm an ungrateful cow.

He tries so hard to be here and he sits in shitty traffic just to come see me. He worked a full shift yesterday and even though he was exhausted still managed to fuck me into a coma.

Even taking sex out of the equation I feel so much better when he's with me. Happier and more content.

I don't sleep well. My brain is so loud these days that it's getting harder and harder to quiet it. I've started noticing too my anxiety is becoming more physical. My hair is starting to come out in clumps again and my skin is starting to feel tight and itchy. All symptoms I know that are due to extreme stress for me.

But when Daddy stays over I sleep better. Yes I still wake up randomly, but go searching for him in my big bed, snuggle in and fall back asleep within minutes. A huge difference from sleeping a bit and then waking up for 3 long hours only to pass out from exhaustion.

And waking up with his arm around me makes me feel so safe and loved and wanted.

He's firmly claimed ownership of every part of me and hes always on my mind. I just wish he was always by my side too.