So many men asking when international men's day is and many comments ment for satire by partners like "why are you out the kitchen" tagging in the women folk they clearly don't want to have sex with anymore.

Yes a day that is meant to celebrate the beautiful creatures that are women, is once again being mocked by insecure men who cry out about "feminazis" and how they are the minority now.

Except they aren't.

I usually pay no mind to these people. Everyone likes a moan and as the saying goes, "opinions are like assholes, everybody has one". But where my piss starts to boil is the comments I've seen relating to domestic violence statistics and how these women "were probably total sluts in bed".

I'm sorry what now please? How does what you like to do in bed ever justify the fact that 83% of domestic abuse cases in Scotland were reported by women (that's 4 out of 5 cases). Or that on average 2 women will be killed PER WEEK by a partner. That's ok cause they liked to be tied up a little in the bedroom?

I think not!

I get unbelievably pissed off at this cause I've been in an abusive relationship and I felt the guilt that it was my fault. I put up with his violence for a year cause I believed it was me that mad him mad. He wasn't like that with anyone else so it must be my actions that pushed him too far.

Bullshit!

He was a pathetic excuse for a human and only after many therapy sessions, some heavy duty anxiety medications and almost a decade of time passing have I just started to see that no, I did absolutely nothing to deserve that! 

Fast forward to current day and I am in a happy D/s relationship. This is also my first experience into the world of BDSM.

I am currently typing this while in a muscle relaxing bubble bath, looking down at my breast, my stomach and my thigh and can see bruising. But it brings me actual joy looking at them. Cause I know who put them there and I remember the session I had in which they occurred.

They happened when Daddy used me like his little fuck toy. When he threw me about the bed like a rag doll and pounded me till I screamed in pleasure and came like a whore. And I loved every second of it. During a session, I am daddy's little fuck toy and he can do with me whatever he pleases within the boundaries of play.


Out with that session however, I am his equal! Always! Even when I am being told what to do and I address him as daddy, he is still my equal as it is MY CHOICE to submit to him. Just as easily as he can make me go on my knees, I can easily tell him I want to stop. And he will. While he, as my dominant, has the power to make to do as he pleases, that power is only available to him cause I choose to give it.

And if that isn't feminist as fuck then I don't know what is.

Feminism is about equality. It's not about women wanting to get one over on men, which is where I think most guys seem to trip up. It's about wanting to be treated the same as everyone else and not be devalued because we have a pussy! 

Being a feminist isn't an exclusively female notion either. I thankfully know more men who identify as being feminists than I do who are misogynistic assholes and that can only be a good thing. 

The reason women have an international day is to praise us in parts of the world where we are valued less that garbage. Where women don't have even half the rights as men do and where women can be legally raped or killed for shits and giggles.

Being a sub doesn't mean violence towards us can be excused as "Awe but she likes it rough". By that same argument a man can be violently raped by another man cause "he likes a bit of slap and tickle". Yet when I put this point across the big scary men folk got all upset with me. 

For shame on me! Upsetting them and all ... Bad girl!

I look at these bruises with happy memories, but I think back to the suspected broken ribs with anger. I remember daddy's hands around my throat as a came with lust, and I remember being dragged across my floor by my hair till I bled with nausea. 

Those are 2 VERY different scenarios and the defining difference is consent.

While i consent to Daddy using and abusing me during play, I did not consent to anything that happened during that year of hell. 

I have an equal say in my relationship that means should I want to stop, he respects and loves me enough as his partner to do so, even if he's in his element and might not really want to. I begged my ex to stop so much that I truly believe he stopped hearing me. And I never once was submissive to him!

No in a proper D/s relationship, the sub is actually the one in control. We give that gift and just a quickly can remove it. Which as a submissive woman is empowering as fuck. Just cause I'm a feminist, doesn't mean I can't also happily take my place as daddy's good girl.

The two aren't mutually exclusive.