Cheeky Cheeky, Brat Brat

I absolutely love being a brat!

It’s a concept that the bestie struggles with. In her mind she is like “but you wanna be bossed about then why fight him" when in reality it’s just another element of my fun.

I think it's probably developing into something close to a kink, which I’m sure a therapist somewhere would have predicted at some point.

According to Daddy I am an “expert” at being a brat but the reality is he has absolutely no idea how far I could take my disobedient ways. My only saving grace is I know he’s not 100% into my brat side. I’m right now due a severe lesson for running my mouth off too much but while he sees that as I really crossed the line, in my reality I am too scared still to seriously push it. I may need to find another outlet for my bratty side.

But why do I like to be a brat?

Well it’s because I can.

Its really as simple as that. I did post earlier in the month about the reasons more in-depth which you can find HERE (There is a trigger warning on that post though).

A basic sum up is when I was younger, I wasn’t ever able to be rebellious in a safe way. I grew up in what I’m gonna call a dysfunctional way. To lash out at my parents in the typical way a child would, would result in dangerous consequences and as a teen I was put into a position of responsibility many adults would struggle with so I couldn’t rebel or flex my confrontation skills. Even in my early relationships, it was never safe to challenge my partner. So, I learned to keep my mouth shut and just boil away internally. Then I met Daddy and he threw the rule book away.

I can be open with Daddy in ways that I have never in my near 33 years on this planet been able to do before and I know that I will always be safe with him. I don’t have to worry that my challenging him will result in violence – though I can imagine the spanks are gonna be more intense as my mouth really went running. I’m cool with that though, I can trust he will stay within what I can tolerate, and I know he will always take care of me before, during and after a scene, no matter how challenging I get and from there I think he has inadvertently uncaged my inner brat.

This is my first (and hopefully only) BDSM dynamic as well as my first long distance relationship so I’m learning on the job so to speak. I don’t have the luxury to find what works with us as a couple over time, day to day, so I have to explore and try out new things kinda as I go. While I am a “little” as far as I am in a DDlg relationship, I have also been given the freedom to explore who I am not only as a sub but as a person, safely. And I have never had that before.

It's like a Willy Wonka/Wizard of Oz mashup. For years I was stuck in this world of black and white trying to be what everyone else needed me to be, and now I’ve landed in Oz where its colourful and sparkly and I wanna try all the sweets on offer. And no one is stopping me – I’m essentially an unsupervised child at this point.

I am very much an ‘Alt girl’ at heart. If I had to pick a column then I would probably say Goth but really, there is a mix of lots of things in there. This is something I kinda dabbled in in my early teens, but it wasn’t the preferred way my partners liked, and I was too much of a push over to argue … See above. But now ironically, in Daddy letting me indulge in my bondage kink, he has actually unlocked me from this cage I found myself in.

There are no real rules with him, other than the obvious. When it comes to my style I can be the typical “mum” look if I want, I can be a chilling in my jammies don’t give a shit hair in a messy bun, or I can let my inner goth come back out into the light. He doesn’t care – Not in a bad way though, but in a ‘I love you whatever so you do you’, and as someone who has had to push herself to fit in this little box of conformity for so fucking long, the freedom is so intoxicating that I have to rein myself daily.

Being a brat is part of this and when I’m in my bratty ways I feel like a whole other person.

If you have read some of my previous posts, you might have seen reference to my inner chimp Gloria. For a while when I was a brat I would liken it to when my chimp is in control so I just lumped the two together but the more I think about it the more I realise that’s not actually the case. My Bratty side is like this completely different mindset I get into. This persona of a gothic chick who takes shit from no one and if you want her on her knees, you’re gonna have to put her there. It’s like I get into this mindset that makes me feel strong and empowered. And while I’m pretty sure she would tear out the throats of anyone who tried to make her submit, with Daddy she will with a smile; but she’s gonna make him earn it.

As much fun as I have with her, I do know that it's not everyone’s cup of tea to deal with a brat. Daddy is a caregiver type, not a brat tamer and has openly said he prefers when I’m a good girl which is fine by me. Like I said, I’m just gonna have to try and channel her in another way, as she is kinda cool and I don’t wanna let her go.

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