Ever since I started having sex at the age of 16, it has intrigued me. Perhaps cause I was always quite a sexual person – I remember discovering masturbation at a young age, and I was very aware of my body as I was one of the unlucky ones to develop a lot faster than other girls.

My first experience of sex was a bit of a let down though. I know most are, but I didn’t seem to have the drop to the bed in exhaustion moment everyone else seemed to have in the movies – I just wanted more and bless him he couldn’t keep up. I put it down to him being older (he was in his mid-20’s which only now as an adult do, I find kinda creepy) and decided that perhaps guys my age were a better fit.

Yeah that logic was flawed.

My next partner was 17 to my 16 and I was his first. It didn’t really make a difference as his first time was only my second time, but it still wasn’t anything to write home about. That was also my first experience of what I now know to be called a micro penis. Personally for me, it was just a hiccup. He was able to ejaculate though sex and I would finish myself off in the bathroom when I went to clean up afterwards. It wasn’t ideal but when I tried to talk about it, he was so paranoid about his size that he would get upset so I just let it be. I knew how to get myself off and I began to be able to achieve orgasm solo so quickly in the bathroom that he had no idea and no feelings were hurt. It became the normal and I was too young to really know better.

I was 17 when we split, and I eventually met my next partner. He was also a virgin (I swear that wasn’t on purpose) and was incredibly well endowed. I’m talking double digit big. Was that a bonus? The fuck it was! If anything, it was such a problem that sex was horrible. He didn’t like foreplay – giving or receiving. In my defence he was too big to comfortably take in my mouth for very long though I was happy enough to give him a hand job though my arms would get tired – yes arms cause i needed both hands which could comfortably accommodate him. Sex became too much like work. We couldn’t ever be spontaneous. He liked to just jump in and without me being aroused first it just fucking hurt. I had so many trips to the GP as he would tear me, or I would be bleeding for days afterwards. Honestly when I hear women say size matters, I wonder if they have ever really been with a big guy – Its not as much fun as porn would lead you to believe. Eventually sex just kind of dwindled off. Its hard to feel sexy when you have to beg your partner to at least let you lube up before you fuck. I made it work though to the point we even managed to have a child. After that though things took a turn for the worse and I was quite happy on my 25^th birthday when I finally got up the courage to kick his abusive ass out.

So, I was a full-time mum to a wee kid, working 2 jobs and trying to keep my shit together. I didn’t have time to screw around and fall in love or deal with another guys bullshit – and that’s where I discovered the joy that is a friend with benefits. It was the ideal option – Sex with no commitments and I could just call up between shifts and get what I needed. It was the perfect arrangement and because I didn’t have to take his feelings into consideration I could do pretty much whatever I wanted. I forever will credit him with knocking open Pandora's box. Bless him though, I bumped into him a few months back and we got chatting about those times. He’s raging cause he always knew that kinky side was in there and he only ever got a taster lol. Such as life I guess.

I kind of casually dated a couple of guys after a while. I decided I wanted more. I wanted to feel that belonging again but never really found anyone that I sparked with. Then I met my most recent ex. 

In the beginning sex was really fun. I think cause it was new and as a self-professed “two pump chump” he always made sure I got a couple of orgasms in before he came. It might seem insignificant, but I appreciate that kind of thing after a long time of so-so sex. But like most things, a few years in it became predictable. There where other issues in the relationship that carried over into the bedroom though which didn’t help. My wee gran would always say the key to a successful relationship is never go to bed angry – there was a whole 3 years of our relationship (which lasted almost 6 years total) I went to bed in tears most nights. It wasn’t good. Sex was a constant though I’ll give him that. Even with all the fights, we would have half decent sex regularly. Three times a week was slow for us and when we decided to start trying to conceive, we had so much sex he would actually make jokes that he had a headache so he could get some sleep.

It was with him that I really started to wonder if I was actually an addict. It wasn’t a case of I wanted to fuck every guy I met, I have never cheated in my life and I never ever would. When I am with a partner, I am in it whole hog, but when I got turned on, it was really hard to be fully satisfied. More often that not he would have to tap out as his jaw would have locked up, his arm would be aching, and he came so much he couldn’t physically get hard anymore. He would toss me a toy on his way to the bathroom and say have at it. Looking so defeated, I felt bad for him, so I would wait till he was asleep and take a toy to the bathroom and be in there till I got the job done. It got to the point that we got Viagra just to help him keep up. Did he need it? For any normal girl probably not, but then I have never once been normal.

I am a self-professed nympho – which guys think they love but it actually seems to bring out the ass-hole in most of them. On paper it is a good thing to have a girl that loves sex but when you’re done for the night and she is still pawing at you, I guess it emasculates them. Either that or they just don’t care in which case they cant get pissy when I finish myself off. If you don't care to try then I will do it myself.

It’s not that I take ages to cum either. If anything, I cum too quick so they think their work is done – bless! I’m told I have hyper arousal – cause yes, I have been to a therapist about this it was that bad at one point. I am “very in tune to my sexual self” (her phrase, not mine). Basically, I can flip that switch and once it’s on, it takes a while to run out. In the same hand though if I’m not into it and don’t wanna play, you can wave a naked Tom Hardy at me and it wont even increase my heart rate. Once I do get in the mood though I can cum again and again and again. Orgasms feel different too depending on what we are doing which will have different results. The best way I can describe it is how I did to the bestie … by using stairs.

So, you are at the bottom of a flight of stairs. The aim is to get to the top which is an orgasm. Foreplay will get you so far and then the actual penetration should take you right to the top. You might take it a step at a time, you might jump a couple and get their fast, whichever way, you will eventually get to the top. For me, my stairs are actually an escalator which go the wrong way. They might be switched off so I can have the regular sex like most people – a quick fiddle and a pounce before I get on with my day. That’s all good, I walk up the stairs fine. But if I’m switched on mentally – the escalator is turned on and the game changes. I’m walking up-stairs that are coming towards me. I’m still moving but it takes so much longer for me to get to get to the top. Thing is, the top becomes the point where I pass out from pleasure or exhaustion rather than my orgasm, cause I’m cumming the whole time I’m climbing. I’m having orgasm after orgasm without reaching the top.  

I guess I’m weird but this is my normal so I can’t really comment on what others experience or how it “should be”. I orgasm repeatedly and like I said not every orgasm in the same. I can cum then if I’m given a break, even just for a minute, I can recover quick and have another one. If I cum and I’m not allowed to rest it then becomes one long orgasm, almost like stacking which lasts a wee while and will become so intense that I feel like I can’t cum anymore. With every orgasm I get a bit more tired but the urge to keep going is still there that a few hours into it he will almost always give up.

I’m told I am a “jammy cow” but like the big cock idea – Its not all its cracked up to be. If you don’t have a partner that can match you in the bedroom it becomes a problem.

And this is where I feel like I might have met my match with Daddy, though a bi-product of that actually kills me inside a little.

So, if you have read this blog you will know our relationship is pretty much based on BDSM. It is not all we have but it is a significant element with us. It is something I never before was able to really experience to my satisfaction but since meeting him, I have been able to explore lots of different things. For the first time in my almost 17 years being sexually active, I can say I am finally fully satisfied with my sex life. I wont get into the details as there are plenty of other posts where I talk about how he blows my mind, and makes me soak my sheets – but he is also the first person I have been with that has made me have to tap out and part of me is actually gutted. Of course, I’m beyond happy that I finally found my unicorn, but its like the undertaker losing his 21-0 streak to Lesner. That was a hell of a reign and having 21-1 will be with him forever. I will forever have that -1. Perhaps its just a pride thing – who knows, but he’s the one and only who has ever made me cum to the point I physically can’t take anymore. And you know what, the moves he’s got, he deserves that heavyweight belt. 

It does of course worry me that years down the line the sex will begin to dwindle as no one can possible keep up an active fulfilling sex life forever – but then if we both enjoy it and have such an amazing connection in the bedroom then I’m hoping to get at least a solid 20 years before one of us pops a hip or I run out of cum.

Surely by then they will have a pill for that though.