Conscious coupling

For a while now, Daddy has been saying things that have flagged for me. Not in a bad way though, in a way that gives me hope. He says things like how he wishes I was with him when he's out with his friends and talks about future plans out with a sexual aspect. He's thinking about life with me and wanting to include me in parts of his life that a simple sub wouldn't belong.

I was scared to get myself hopeful that he might want to give this a try as a couple as well as a D/s relationship.

Technically I hadn't asked him to be my Dom. What we had been doing was almost like "D/s lite". Yes we were acting out scenes but he was free to have any sub he chose, and I any Dom. It was just no strings attatched fun. Only I was accidently attaching my own strings. What with me loving everything about him and all.

For a while I wanted more. It's just being with me is complicated. When deciding to date, as a single parent, there are way more factors to consider than simply "How do I feel about this person?"

You have other people's feelings to take into consideration. How will they fit into our family scenario? Will the kid(s) like them? At what point do I introduce everyone? It is more complicated and you tend to think long term a lot faster than you would just the two of you.

Everyone is different but for me, I found introducing Daddy and the teen sooner rather than later helped me quite a lot. I was able to see if this could become something more than just sex or if that's all it could ever be. My kid comes first every time. So if those 2 didn't get on then it wasn't ever gonna become serious. Nothing will disrupt our home life in a negative way.

But luckily they get on like a house on fire. They sit and chat away quite happy about a whole host of topics. Boundaries are respected and having Daddy around actually brings a nice element to our home. On our own I have discussed with the teen the idea of me dating again and how he would feel if Daddy was around more. He gave me his assurances he is "cool with that" and he is comfortable having him around.

I decided to bite the bullet and tell him how I felt. At least tell him that I wanted more. So during one of our many conversations, I told him that I had been thinking a lot and that I wanted the D/s life and ultimately I wanted him. He asked specifially if I wanted him to be my Dom (like I said, consent is key) and I said I did. Not only that though, I wanted more. I wanted him to be mine and I his. I was so floored when he replied how he was so happy cause he wanted me to be all his and only his.

The happiness I felt actually made me burst into tears. I think a part of me had convinced myself that it wasn't possible and I was bracing myself for him to say "thanks but no" so when he started getting on all happy and excited, it made me feel so wonderful my eyes just leaked happiness.

Was the next day when I thought 'fuck it, in for a penny' and all that and told him I loved him.

I still have the conversation saved in my phone and I'll keep it forever.

"I love the way you look baby girl"
"And I love you daddy"
"Mmmmmmmmm good cause daddy loves his baby girl"
- with loads of heart and kissing emojis

Turns out I wasn't the only one that had gone and tripped up into some feelings. He had been feeling thr same for a while too but with family stuff going on with me, didn't want to make me feel anymore pressure. The fact that he felt that way and put my feelings first made me love him all the more. It's nice having someone thinkabout you like that. But that's part of the DDlg dynamic I'm learning. He actively WANTS to take care of me.

I got myself into such a state worrying that I was gonna lose him if I told him how I felt and that I wanted more. Silly me! There is a little lesson there for any fellow anxiety sufferers. When it flares and tells you 'it's all gonna go wrong', maybe don't listen cause I could have had a calmer last few days if I just told him straight how much I love him. And could have had him as all mine those extra weeks.


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