Not for the faint hearted

Online dating SUCKS! Fact!

I swear i have seen more dick pics in my inbox than i have seen in my whole life offline.

When did that become a thing? I always though that was just something couples did - I've sent the ex my fair share of naughty pics. Its always fun to tease when away at a work thing or if your feeling horny on a Saturday night and you're apart. Then i encouraged pictures of his manhood - but this unsolicited thing is for the birds.

Now a days it seems to be a guys calling card - Like some kinda erect bat signal - and I'm not sure what the proper response to getting that is either.

At first i just ignored and blocked. Then by the umpteenth i decided to start questioning their logic.

Did that actually work as an opener?

Were there women out there who open a message to see man-meat in all its proud poses and think, "Oh my god! I've found him. He's the one for me! Call the caterers, book the venue, my prince charming has found me".

I very highly doubt that - and if she did then she has more issues than Cosmo!

I got the usual answers to my simple "Why?" response - Cause they want me to suck/fuck/tug it. Cause they wanted to show me what i would be "bouncing on" at a later date. Or some other graphic depiction of what they wanted to use their member for. A couple when i pressed further how weird it was even threatened quite horrendous sexual violence towards me.

Bad me for not falling over my feet to get a piece of that - being violently raped sounds like a completely logical response to my annoyance at your unsolicited dick pic. Thank you so much for helping me see the error of my ways, let me assume the position. Ugh!

Its not all arseholes with their dicks out though. You have a whole host of people online - Not gonna lie, the majority are pervs, hiding behind keyboards like they are above common decency, or even catfish who for whatever reason like to lie about who they are - but if you wade though the creeps and foreskin, there are a few genuinely nice guys out there.

There are some basics that you should try and follow when it comes to online dating though -

And if all else fails - Lovehoney have a sale on just now.

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