For almost a year now I’ve been dealing with abdominal pain that the Drs couldn’t decide was could be the cause. Around November I started to randomly bleed from my ass (with no discernible reason), so the Drs decided it was to do with my bowels.

Lockdown hit again and I was left on a wait-list just trying to power though the pain and literally crap. The bleeding was sporadic and followed no pattern. Wasn’t piles and as I was apart from Daddy and feeling really depressed, my sex drive pretty much plummeted so there was no solo butt play happening. My body was just randomly short circuiting, and no one could find out why.

That was until last week when my turn on the table came up and I was getting my biopsy via a colonoscopy.

Now, Obviously, the nature of the area means a there has to be some “preparation” but nothing could have prepared me for the nastiness that was the moviprep solution. If you haven’t experienced this stuff yet, then you’re so lucky. It tastes like salty soap with a lemony undertone, and it makes you shit like someone turned a tap on inside you. Pretty graphic I know but honestly, I've never experienced torture like it.

Halfway though it dawned on me that there are people out there who’s kink/fetish it is to do that, and I didn’t know if I should be impressed or terrified. I takes someone with strong willpower to find that erotic and while I’ll never kink shame anyone, it was one I really struggled to understand.

I managed 1.5 litres of the stuff before my body started to reject it and I just kept throwing up. By about half 3 I passed out from a mix of nausea and exhaustion and when my alarm went off at 7am, I just cried.

I got ready and off to the hospital I went. Oh joy.

I look at things through a strange lens at the best of times and as my brain was giving me all kinds of scary thoughts about what they might find, I was trying to counter it with random thoughts, of which kink takes up 70%. I sat in the waiting room away from the other patients (social distancing and all that) watching the medical staff go by and I wondered what it is about the medical field that people like to re-enact in porn? I mean we’ve all done it. I remember playing doctor as a curious preteen which lead to my first sexual/lesbian experience, but I didn’t know better then. Now I do and for me, hospitals are the least sexy places EVER. I mean seriously, I would have better luck getting off in a graveyard than I would a hospital, but I guess that’s why we’re all different – and if anything, I’m the weirdo in that comparison.

I got called though for the pre op check over and the nurse was like “seriously?” when I told her I was opting to do this without sedation. But I was adamant I was leaving the hospital that day!

Daddy wasn’t too keen on that idea either, but I had my reasons – I fucking hate hospitals. Nothing against them in general but for me they mean pain and death, so when they told me I would need to stay overnight as I didn’t have an adult to take care of me at home due to the sedation, I was like fuck no! The nurse I spoke to on the phone advised I could opt out of sedation and take gas and air, but it will be “unpleasant”. I weighed it up and the panic attack that was bound to happen staying over would be worse than any pain. Plus, I laboured with only gas and air and pushed a human out of me with nothing so I decided I would woman up and just get it done.

A decision I instantly regretted once the doctor was deep in my ass.

I like anal. I really do. I get why some people are like eek but I love how it feels and the orgasm it gives you is completely different from a pussy orgasm (at least for me). There is something to naughty and primal about it too. Having Daddy fuck me silly then pull out of my pussy and fuck my ass next, oft! Its amazing!

What I experienced at the hospital wasn’t amazing. It’s what I imagine being anally probed by a pissed off alien to feel like. He’s been probing butts all day; it’s a Friday and he just wants to end his shift so he can go back to his planet and watch space sports. His heart isn’t really in it and as a result he’s not caring if my asshole gets blown out like an overinflated balloon. Point being it wasn’t fun. I’ve spoken to people who actually enjoyed their colonoscopy which makes me think either the sedation is a crucial part of that, or I know some serious masochists. Whichever side of the coin they land on, nothing about mine was fun or by any definition enjoyable. But I did it, and at least I have a “lovely colon”.

A cursory glance at my insides didn’t show anything that would be a cause for concern – which was a relief as I was starting to make plans in my head if it were something sinister, but we’ll just need to wait and see what the biopsy results show.

Till then I must reclaim my ass again.

I’m gonna try and return it to the fun zone that it previously was and once this pain stops and I've gave myself time to heal, I’m gonna get my best DP toys out and have a grand old time, with not a surgical glove in sight.